Tuesday, December 10, 2013

I just finished my thesis paper for my MJC class.  I would like to share it in parts her.  Please share your thoughts with me.

7 DEC 2013
Adopted Children Have a greater incidence of Mental Health Disturbances and Delinquency.
            Because we see increased manifestations of disorders such as Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS), Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Reactive Attachment Disorder(RAD), Conduct Disorder (CD), etc in the adopted populations vs. non adopted populations we can see a clear connection (Pei 438).  Early abuse and trauma, genetic/environmental factors and a primal wound of being removed from the parent, and more, all serve to produce adoptive children with significant mental disturbances.
             Early deprivation, abuse, trauma, and dysfunctional attachment can disrupt a child’s brain development; thus their production and management of neurotransmitters. A major contributor to studies on adoptees mental health, Remi Cadoret, states "There is a general acceptance of the likelihood that genetic factors predisposing to aggressive and violent behaviors do exist...and will be imbedded in complex development pathways involving neurotransmitter systems..." (Cadoret, Genetics of Aggressive and Violent Behavior 317).
            Research on abused and neglected children has indicated the devastating effects of maltreatment on the child’s growing brain; smaller brain size, decreased growth of the corpus callosum (connects the right and left sides of the brain) and impaired growth of inhibitory neurotransmitters, including gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA), that serve to calm the excitable emotional limbic structures.  This is seen in brain imaging studies and through neurotransmitter testing. Even after children are introduced into safe and loving homes, the disrupted neurochemistry is still present. 
            "The importance of gene-environment interactions are illustrated in several adoption studies. For example, the effects of socioeconomic status on inhibiting or promoting the expression of the genetic vulnerability to criminality have been examined in two large-scale Danish and Swedish adoption studies"(Tehrani and Sarnoff 295). Adopted Children are more at risk than other non-adopted children because of their biological parent's criminal, or mental illness history and antisocial behavior.
            An NIH study points to research that  shows "emotional and behavioral issues are related to a number of health and social  problems in adolescence, even leading to juvenile delinquency and dropping out of school. A true mood or emotional disorder almost always has an underlying biochemical basis, and more severe disorders may require specialist treatments" (Wilde 64).
The Biological Parent Aspect:  Alcohol & Drug Abuse/Anti Social Behavior.
            There are no laws on the books mandating pregnant women with a history of birthing drug addicted babies being required to get any treatment while pregnant.  They can't even be forced to have prenatal care, thus allowing them to go all nine months without any "nagging" from doctors or social workers ("prenatal exposure").   Methamphetamine abuse is particularly cruel because one of its affects is extreme sexual arousal.  Sex seeking drug addicts are not known for their family planning or contraceptive use.  Babies that have been drug exposed, can be born prematurely, suffer severe effects from their exposure such as Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Bipolar, physical defects (cleft lip), plus many learning, developmental delays and conduct disorders, etc.  .
            Child abuse inflicts a wound that becomes a break in the intricate web of relationships that we exist in--the place where our core being resides.  That fundamental break causes us to become strangers to our environment, others and most profoundly ourselves.  We find ourselves struggling in an alien world with feelings of loneliness, isolation and betrayal.  Trust is lost in a most unnatural way.  This is not the normal growing up, seeing life is not the rosy picture we hoped to experience.  It is the unnatural loss or betrayal of trust of a child in his or her parents.  We don’t see a bond that under normal circumstances provides a guiding force in a life of confusion, chaos and struggle to find self.
             A family background of anti social behavior mixed in with a biological parent having a psychological disorder would increase the risk of childhood conduct disorder and adolescent aggressiveness.   Intergenerational transmission theories exist showing that criminal and antisocial parents tend to have delinquent and antisocial children (Cadoret  317).
Bonding:  Mental/Neurological Consequences
            Attachment is one of the most important aspects of a child’s development; it is the essential factor in shaping their minds through interactions. Neurotransmitter levels are a blueprint for a child’s mood, behavior, and overall functioning.  Continual research has shown that our early years create our brain's destiny; as relationships with parent’s changes so do the children’s attachment. This means it is never too late to create a positive change in a child’s life.  Through regulating neurotransmitter levels the ability to create a healthy bond with parents becomes much more feasible.
Conduct disorders
It has been theorized that genetic influences such as DNA alterations can cause thrill seeking behavior.  Studies on Serotonin  indicated that shorter strands could have a tendency to nervousness and more negative thought.  “A study on dopamine showed (or indicated) that people with a sevenfold repetition (rather than four) had a higher level of thrill seeking, quick  temper and excitability. Using this research the Dutch have been indicating at a likelihood of criminal propensity due to a shortage of enzymes needed to breakdown serotonin” (Bettelheim 290).  Problems with executive/cognitive functions are key to impulsivity and lack of restraint.
Neurochemistry and Neuroanatomy
            Research shows that neurochemistry (mental) problems and anatomy (physical) problems can be one in the same.  Twin and adoption studies have supported the theory that alcoholism, mental health disorders, and violent offences can be genetic traits.  Data suggests that the induction of some type of teratogen (congenital malformation), during gestation alters normal fetal development. Violent offending, but not property offending, may be associated with a disturbance in fetal development (Cadoret, Genetic and Environmental Factors in Adoptee Antisocial Personality 231).

            The function of the frontal lobe is to house our parental controls and executive functioning.  This gives us the ability to recognize future consequences resulting from current actions, to choose between good and bad choices.  We can override and suppress socially unacceptable responses, and be predictive of similarities and differences between things or events.  The frontal lobe is a critical center and it controls the "essence" of our humanity, according to Dr. Donald Stuss of The Rotman Research Institute.  It is the seat of our  emotions.  Our ability to feel compassion, understand consequences and social mores are controlled here.   (qtd in Firman and Gila 75)  

Monday, November 11, 2013

Catan  A
Great Game

I found this great article:

Move Over Monopoly—Catan in the Classroom

27032013
- by Jeremiah
image from BGG user kilroy_locke
image from BGG user kilroy_locke
For years, math, stats, and economics teachers have been trotting out the Monopoly board in their classrooms to help give students some hands-on, applicable life lessons. While the game is horrible, the idea is sound. From the get-go, gaming with my children has been chock full of teachable moments; at their current ages those lessons have been more about sportsmanship, being gracious while winning or losing, and learning to operate within the rules (or NOT cheating). As they grow older you can bet the lessons at the game table will grow with them.
A middle-school history teacher in Franklin, MA, has gone Euro with this concept in his classes. Teaching the struggles of early civilizations, and the conflict that can arise over scarce resources through The Settlers of Catan. A recent article in a local paper featuring the teacher and his students has caught the attention of Mayfair Games, and has gained some traction across the gaming community.
“We can’t bring them back to Mesopotamia, Egypt or Greece, but this (Catan) brings it alive,” Brady said. “One student was so frustrated because he was winning at one point, and the other kids froze him out and wouldn’t trade with him. He said flat out, ‘I now understand why people go to war.’ ”
This is yet another step in not only promoting a great hobby, but also in breaking new ground in teaching future generations. So let’s have a discussion here about it! What games do you think should end up in the classroom? and Why? We would LOVE to hear your thoughts. And who knows…you just might inspire someone to break new ground in their classroom, too!
Thanks for reading, and leave your suggestions in the comments!

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Ever wonder how to get coupons for cheap cheap or even free well there are several ways you might be able to do that:

  1. Ask your friends and neighbors.  Ask people you know at church--that's a great spot because you can get in the habit of collecting fresh inserts!
  2. Sunday advertisers--ask neighbors who do not get the Sunday paper, but do get the YES! inserts delivered if they would let you pick them up off their driveway Sunday morning.
  3. Recycle center:  yes, dumpster diving.  It's really not gross since you are only going thru newspapers.  Most recycling places want you to ask first.  Just wear gloves!
  4. Coupon trains.  What is a coupon train?
    A coupon train is an envelope filled with non-expired coupons that is sent between riders. When you receive the "train", take which coupons you will use and replace those with coupons for your fellow passengers. You then mail it to the next address on the list.  check out  http://www.mommysavers.com/c/
  5. Just plain old trading with other Moms, co-workers, etc.  Make a deal to give cat food coupons for diapers and wipes.  Yogurt for organic items, etc.  Keep things simple.
  6. Computers: you can print out coupons-but they have limits.  Use more than one computer to get additional coupons.
  7. Let people know you coupon at Boy Scouts, American Heritage Girls, soccer, etc. let them know you are always looking for new coupons and to bring them to you or call you so you can arrange a pick up.  Have calling cards.  Calling cards just have your name and phone number on them.  Very simple and cheap at Vista print or little prints (thru Costco.)
  8. Library--does your library get several papers?  Would they be willing to let you have the inserts?  Usually these things get tossed out.
  9. Newspaper carrier, sometimes they have left overs.  Be prepared sometimes they keep a certain insert for themselves or give you too many, but the deal is you take it off their hands to save them a trip to the recycle center.  Tip generously!
  10. Trading websites, you will need to pay postage.  Find me at http://couponspare.com/profile/thutson
Good luck and happy couponing.
I just found a great place to buy coupon inserts inexpensively. http://www.crazycouponinserts.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2013-10-27T15:44:00-07:00&max-results=100

Sunday, October 27, 2013

SAHM

or Stay At Home Mom!

How do you know if you wan to be a SAHM?

      Well, are do you have kids now?  Are you preggies?  Have you lived out other pursuits or passions and are now ready to nest?

The first thing to figure out is if you can afford to stay home.  Lots of people want to, but the finances aren't there.  I would absolutely suggest a long term plan here work for a while, get on your employer's retirement plan and sock away money in a ROTH IRA account.  More on this in another blog.

If you have kids now you need a more immediate plan.  That plan is to see where you are financially now and where you will be at financially where you no longer have a regular paycheck coming in.  Let's do some math to see what you need to know.

Calculate monthly work related expenses that you won't have after you quit working:

    1. Dry cleaners.
    2. Starbucks and lunches out.
    3. Frozen dinners.  
    4. Car payment.  
    5. Gas and maintenance
    6. Childcare
    7. Gas and any other snacks purchased at convenience stores.
    8. What you spend going out to dinner each month, this includes those pre-made dinners from the grocery store.
    9. Clothes/Shoes/Purses/jewelry.  
    10. Some portion of you auto insurance may decrease.  Many people who have a long commute may save on their premium.  Check with your insurance carrier.
    11. Life insurance.  
Once you figure out how much it COSTS YOU TO WORK, then you can deduct this from you take home pay and determine how much you actually, REALLY make from working.  Now you know how much less you will have in your monthly budget so you can cut back where needed

An explanation on some of the expenses listed:

  • Dry cleaners. Figure out either how much you spent last month or if you have been tracking the annual amount on mint or something like that calculate it down to a per month amount.  You won't need these clothes on a daily basis.  Sturdy jeans and a t-shirt that is bleach friendly will be your new uniform.  They are comfortable and easy to wash.
  • Starbucks and lunches out are something you will do once a week or so.  This will be replaced with play dates, drinking coffee you made at home and mom groups such as MOPs.
  • Frozen dinners.  Calculate how much you spend on frozen dinners.  You won't need them when you stop working.  Sure they are a convenience item but a healthier/cheaper option is to cook triple sized meals at one time and freeze the other two for later.  Yup that's what SAHM's do!  We can add on some premade frozen dinners later--when the money pans out.  You may find this is NOT where you would spend your limited funds.
  • Car payment.  Pay it off or replace it with something you don't need credit on.  You may need to sell your car to buy one that you can afford to pay for with cash.  Then you won't have a payment and you can start saving to upgrade your car every couple of years until you get something (used) that can last you til it's 8-10 years old.  Do the same with your spouse's car.  Start thinking--my car is a mode of transportation--not a status symbol.  My family is my new status symbol--so I am "ALL IN" as a SAHM!
  • Childcare: figure out what one day costs, you will still use one day of service a week or every other week.  This is my suggestion, because freedom to think for one day in your own home is worth every penny it costs.  Yes, If your Mom or someone else wants your kids every Wednesday day from 10-4 say yes--it's free and Not in your home.  This can be the day  you meet friends  for lunch, get your hair done, meet with that personal trainer, etc.  It is not the day you schedule errands, repairmen or "deep clean" the house.  This is your mental health day, and you will NEED IT!  Ever hear the term when Mom's not happy NO ONE is?
  • Gas and any other snacks purchased at convenience stores.  You will still need the snacks--but they will be in a snack box in you car.  I like using the 1 gallon ice cream containers--they are easy to move around and even toss around in the car.  Yes I let my kids eat in the car--remember my family is my new status symbol--not the car.  We drink water--never soda which can bleach out the carpet.  When I found this out I pretty much outlawed soda--I mean if that's what it does to a car, what is it doing to my kids' guts and teeth?
  • Going out to dinner will change.  I tell my kids I take them out to dinner, not so they can eat, but so they can practice good manners.  Being quiet in a restaurant will teach them to be quiet at a funeral, wedding, church, etc.  Food is a big motivator for children.  That free ice cream that comes with the kids meal isn't coming if they did not behave.  Now I expect my kids to spill or make messes at dinner time, that's what cup lids are for, and why we first spoon feed our kids.  We don't cry over spilled milk, everyone just passes their napkins to help cleanup.  Mom and Dad go out to dinner alone as a date---that's our children's expectation.  
  • Clothes/Shoes/Purses/jewelry.  You don't need to buy any more for one year--for yourself.  Later we will talk about a budget for clothes shopping, but for now it's best to just stay out of the stores looking at things that you just need to say no to for now.  This is a big struggle for many women so I suggest going cold turkey for one year.
  • Some portion of your auto insurance may decrease.  Many people who have a long commute may save on their premium.  Check with your insurance carrier.
  • Life insurance.  You don't need much if your family is counting on your spouse for income.  If you have young children under age 12 then you will want some type of term policy that would cover housekeepers and childcare should you die unexpectedly. Get 20 year term quotes if you are just staring to have children.  Think of it this way, let's say you decide to have a baby and you get preggie and go on to have two more spaced two years apart.  That's about 8 years and would just get you to the point when the youngest turns 12.  Why does 12 matter?  Well that the age you can legally leave your child alone at home.  
Being a stay at home mom can be a challenge, especially if you are in your early 20's.  Women tend to regret what they didn't pursue in their 20s.  So if your burning desire really is to Travel the world as a spy, wait until you've had a chance to pursue those dreams--succeed or fail on your own.  Once you have tried that dream and having kids becomes your new dream you will be ready to be a SAHM!